I had an interesting conversation with someone over the weekend briefly on the subject of change. Change of self. Change of personality. Change of habits. Change in appearance and anything associated with it.
This might be a bad example but as a guy, you’re often told to ‘be yourself’ in the pursuit of women. Be yourself and you’ll attract the woman of your dreams. Then the older the you get the more you realise that isn’t exactly the case, its more complex than that. Firstly being yourself is subjective and open to interpretation. In life we all wear or adopt a certain mask in various surroundings. Whether it’s how you conduct yourself at work, to how you communicate with the person running your shopping through on the till in a supermarket. You’re a slightly different person in each of these situations.
I was always a pretty big guy, but always carried myself in a confident manner, so i didn’t suffer as much as i should have in-terms of attracting women. But as a single man i still placed alot of my own personal worth on the basis of how many girls i could attract and ultimately sleep with. In order to remedy this situation i started working out and moulding my body in shape i thought women wanted. During that process i began to understand that women didn’t place as much value in physical conditioning as i thought they did. I was merely projecting my own insecurities onto women in the hope they’d comment on my body and validate my self worth. Looking back on it now, it was horrible position to be in.
But i did change, a lot.
Further to the point, changing my body lead to me understanding that it goes in hand with changing your mindset. You start eating healthy and soon realise how alive you feel, the look of your skin improves and you generally feel more in-tune with your body. This in-turn leads you to becoming a better person to hang out with. You take up some cool hobbies to feel your free time, you meet new people, go on new adventures and come back with interesting stories to tell and pictures to show. Then something amazing happens, you begin to attract more PEOPLE into your life, not just women, but PEOPLE of worth, PEOPLE you want to spend your time with. Which ultimately lead to you becoming a more attractive person.
Lead an interesting life and you’ll soon surround yourself with interesting people